It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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