that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
