i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
