$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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