honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
