You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
