Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
