I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
