Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
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