my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
