what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
