When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have fence marks all over my body
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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