so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
