The maid of honor just puked.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
