We're facebook friends in real life
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
