You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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