too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
