I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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