I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
