youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
