Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
