I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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