No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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