i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
