Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
