You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize