I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
