I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
