people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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