He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
