By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
