would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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