No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have already put on my inside pants.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
