I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
