Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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