goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
