Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
smell my finger.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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