Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
