Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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