When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
