I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
