At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize