This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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