They should really pass out barf bags in church
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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