Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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