I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
