he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize