Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How does it feel to date your dad?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
