Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
