Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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