i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
