I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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