how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
