I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
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