the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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