you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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