i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
