I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
