...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
