so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize