ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
