Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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