I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I will be naked everywhere
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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